i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
