We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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