I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So many bounce houses so little time
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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