There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize