based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
