I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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