I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
