I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
