I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
