If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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