right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
