So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
