Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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