I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
