why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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