I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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