ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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