p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize