I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
