Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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