I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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