Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
