Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This house was built for laser tag.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
