Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
