Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
