Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize