Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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