Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
