wakey wakey hands off snakey
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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