My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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