would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Randomize
