HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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