READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
