We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
