if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
