this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
