My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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