I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
