New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
