Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
