Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i've created a new STD.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
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