I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
