xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
