im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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