She's JV to your varsity
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
two words...techno handjob
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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