I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
