what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
