Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
