thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
