you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
