oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
oh god was she eating orange peels again
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
