She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
