My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
NoShamevember. You game?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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