Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
