I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
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