i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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