She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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