You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
