let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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