"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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