i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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